Learned in Primary Episode 004 – Everybody Communicates, Few Connect

Welcome to Learned in Primary, where we discuss that everything we know we learned in primary. This podcast focuses on the things that we are learning as adults that remind us of what we learned as children growing up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Join hosts Jethro Jones and Tom Bay as they discuss the current hot topics in thought leadership and how they relate to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

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In this episode we discuss “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect” by John Maxwell. This podcast is not affiliated with the author of the book or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Tom’s Takeaways:

  1. Connecting Is All About Others?“Good teachers, leaders, and speakers don’t see themselves as experts with passive audiences they need to impress. Nor do they view their interests as most important. Instead, they see themselves as guides and focus on helping others learn.” Teaching: No Greater Call, Lesson 13: “The Teacher’s Role in Helping Individuals Learn the Gospel Knowing that individuals are responsible to learn the gospel, we may ask, What is the role of teachers? It is to help individuals take responsibility for learning the gospel—to awaken in them the desire to study, understand, and live the gospel and to show them how to do so.” ?
  2. Connecting Goes Beyond Words?“face-to-face communication can be broken down into three components: words, tone of voice, and body language. What may come as a surprise is that in some situations, such as when verbal and nonverbal messages aren’t consistent, what people see us do and the tone we use can far outweigh any words we say while trying to communicate.” Jesus is the best example: drawing in the sand when defending the sinner, kneeling in Gethsemane to pray, kneeling in the midst of the Nephites to pray, turning over tables when rebuking the money changers…?
  3. Connectors Do the Difficult Work of Keeping It Simple?“Good teachers know that the fundamental law of learning is repetition. Someone once told me that people have to hear something sixteen times before they really believe it.” Pres Henry B Eyring: “The good word of God with which we must nourish is the simple doctrine of the gospel. We need not fear either simplicity or repetition.” ?
  4. Connectors Inspire People?“American poet and writer Maya Angelou noted, ‘The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.’ That is also a prerequisite of being an inspiring leader or communicator.” Pres Russell M Nelson “Do not try to control your children. Instead, listen to them, help them to learn the gospel, inspire them, and lead them toward eternal life.” ?
  5. Connectors Live What They Communicate?You Are Your Message. “How you portray yourself, what you communicate, and how you live need to be consistent.” Great examples from our general authorities. D&C 50:6  “But wo unto them that are deceivers and hypocrites, for, thus saith the Lord, I will bring them to judgment.” ?

Jethro’s Takeaways:

  1. “Carlos made the same mistake as others who don’t connect: they see themselves as the center of the conversation.” – this highlights the importance of the change from the discussions that missionaries gave to Preach My Gospel, and the change in how curriculum is taught to Young Men and Women. ?
  2. “If I went back to college again, I’d concentrate on two areas: learning to write and to speak before an audience.Nothing in life is more important than the ability to communicate effectively.” —GERALD FORD, Nephi wished that he could do this better, too!  ?
    1. 1 And now I, Nephi, cannot write all the things which were taught among my people; neither am I mighty in writing, like unto speaking; for when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.?
    2. 2 But behold, there are many that harden their hearts against the Holy Spirit, that it hath no place in them; wherefore, they cast many things away which are written and esteem them as things of naught.?
    3. 3 But I, Nephi, have written what I have written, and I esteem it as of great worth, and especially unto my people. For I pray continually for them by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night, because of them; and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry. 2 Nephi 33:1–3?
  3. “I think everyone can agree that many of the issues we face in life can be complex. A professor may legitimately argue that his or her area of expertise is complicated. I won’t contest that. But as leaders and communicators, our job is to bring clarity to a subject, not complexity. It doesn’t take nearly as much skill to identify a problem as it does to find a good solution. The measure of a great teacher isn’t what he or she knows; it’s what the students know. Making things simple is a skill, and it’s a necessary one if you want to connect with people when you communicate. Or to put it the way Albert Einstein did, ‘If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it enough.’” – Gospel is simple. Testimony meetings should make things simple.?
  4. At the close of a conversation, ask if there is anything you can do to help them and then follow through. Acts of servanthood have a resounding impact that live longer than words. Mosiah 2:17–19?
    1. 16 Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God.?
    2. 17 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.?
    3. 18 Behold, ye have called me your king; and if I, whom ye call your king, do labor to serve you, then ought not ye to labor to serve one another??
    4. 19 And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!?
  5. My desire is first to help you learn the principles behind connecting with others, by:?
    1. Focusing on others ?
    2. Expanding your connecting vocabulary beyond just words ?
    3. Marshalling your energy for connecting ?
    4. Gaining insight in how great connectors connect. ?
    5. Then I’ll help you acquire the practical skills of connection: Finding common ground ?
    6. Making your communication simple ?
    7. Capturing people’s interest ?
    8. Inspiring them, and ?
    9. Being authentic.?
    10. President Monson’s example.?

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Learned in Primary Episode 004 – Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

Everyone Communicates, Few Connect

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